Thoughts: Last few days of Pregnancy

The countdown is on. Baby boy will be here in about 8 days, if not sooner (I'm crossing my fingers). I was just sitting here thinking about this pregnancy in comparison to my first when I was pregnant with Penelope. This one has been a little more emotionally taxing for obvious reasons but people are not kidding when they say being pregnant while running after a toddler is no joke.

We found out we were having another baby about a month before Penelope's first birthday and then the first trimester exhaustion settled in just about the same time as my first little monster started walking or running rather. I felt about 5 times more tired this time around with my only hope of relief was when I was at work and Penelope was taken care of by our awesome nanny (who we miss very much if you are reading this!), or when Penelope went to bed and I could sit on the couch for maybe 30 minutes before passing out, drool running and everything. I know as you're reading this you're thinking "being at work is relief"? YES. I could sit for 8 hours without no interruptions besides that of my bladder.

To be honest though, it wasn't as bad as I'm making it seem. Yes, I was exhausted and yes, I will hand it over to any mamas out there that are expecting their second or third and doing it so gracefully. You are all warriors in my book.

After we found everything out about baby boy, the pregnancy took a bit of a turn for me, and instead of being so happy to give Penelope a sibling and to see what this little boy looked like, I was just worried and sad most of the time. Moving took a big toll on us too, as well as getting used to a new place again, and battling the allergies I've had since we moved! The last two months have been quite a challenge for me. Getting used to working from home full time again (which I am so thankful for), getting everything ready for the baby while seeing doctors every week for myself and for him, along with pretty much being sick with allergies and then bronchitis the entire time has been pretty brutal.

Yesterday, as we were driving to our final appointment before baby comes, I told David "I don't know if I can do this again." I immediately felt bad after saying it. I know there are women out there who have lost babies, who are having trouble conceiving, among many other issues, and at the end of the day, despite all of the sad days I've had, the tired days, the days where I want to run away or hide, or think I can't do it...I am so incredibly grateful that I can. Our bodies and minds are capable of so much more than we can possible conceive and I am noticing that more and more these days. When you think you can't go any more, your feet keep moving, your heart keeps beating, and your mind keeps whirling.

I know I'm ranting today but I caught myself thinking about pregnancy and figured I'd just write it all down. I'm sure someone can relate : )

Have a great day!