Thoughts: Last few days of Pregnancy

The countdown is on. Baby boy will be here in about 8 days, if not sooner (I'm crossing my fingers). I was just sitting here thinking about this pregnancy in comparison to my first when I was pregnant with Penelope. This one has been a little more emotionally taxing for obvious reasons but people are not kidding when they say being pregnant while running after a toddler is no joke.

We found out we were having another baby about a month before Penelope's first birthday and then the first trimester exhaustion settled in just about the same time as my first little monster started walking or running rather. I felt about 5 times more tired this time around with my only hope of relief was when I was at work and Penelope was taken care of by our awesome nanny (who we miss very much if you are reading this!), or when Penelope went to bed and I could sit on the couch for maybe 30 minutes before passing out, drool running and everything. I know as you're reading this you're thinking "being at work is relief"? YES. I could sit for 8 hours without no interruptions besides that of my bladder.

To be honest though, it wasn't as bad as I'm making it seem. Yes, I was exhausted and yes, I will hand it over to any mamas out there that are expecting their second or third and doing it so gracefully. You are all warriors in my book.

After we found everything out about baby boy, the pregnancy took a bit of a turn for me, and instead of being so happy to give Penelope a sibling and to see what this little boy looked like, I was just worried and sad most of the time. Moving took a big toll on us too, as well as getting used to a new place again, and battling the allergies I've had since we moved! The last two months have been quite a challenge for me. Getting used to working from home full time again (which I am so thankful for), getting everything ready for the baby while seeing doctors every week for myself and for him, along with pretty much being sick with allergies and then bronchitis the entire time has been pretty brutal.

Yesterday, as we were driving to our final appointment before baby comes, I told David "I don't know if I can do this again." I immediately felt bad after saying it. I know there are women out there who have lost babies, who are having trouble conceiving, among many other issues, and at the end of the day, despite all of the sad days I've had, the tired days, the days where I want to run away or hide, or think I can't do it...I am so incredibly grateful that I can. Our bodies and minds are capable of so much more than we can possible conceive and I am noticing that more and more these days. When you think you can't go any more, your feet keep moving, your heart keeps beating, and your mind keeps whirling.

I know I'm ranting today but I caught myself thinking about pregnancy and figured I'd just write it all down. I'm sure someone can relate : )

Have a great day! 

What I'm Reading:: June

Last night as I was sitting on the couch trying to get through this old book I had started reading this week, David said to me "you're a book-reading junkie lately". I took that as a compliment. I don't know what it is, I've always really liked to read but lately instead of watching tv when I finally get a chance to sit on the couch, I just want to read. 

Continuing with my monthly book lists. I've included a few new books I've decided to read this month. One is a light summer chick book and the other two just looked really interesting. Let me know what you think or if you've read any of them!

What I'm reading in June and July:

The Girls by Emma Cline 

I was a little on the fence about reading this book at first. It is a coming of age story, set in the 1960s, revolving around the lives of young girls who have become entwined in a cult with a Charles Mansonesque leader. The story is told from a middle aged woman looking back to when she was 14, when she stumbled across this new world as a young girl looking to find herself one summer. It's incredibly deep and at times a lot to handle, but it is so well written. You can find it here.

Forever Beach by Shelley Noble 

This book is on the lighter side compared to the first book I mentioned. It's perfect as a poolside or beach read. It tells the story of two childhood best friends that lose touch and then inevitably find their way back to each other all to save a little girl and give her a family. It's a really good summer read! You can find it here.

Modern Lovers by Emma Straub

Lastly, this book I stumbled across on Barnes & Noble's top recent books list. This book is about young friends that grow up together, live around each other as they are older with their own families, and watch their kids settle into friendships with each other. It's funny and at times crazy, but it's a really fun and good humored book! You can find it here.

What are you reading this month? 

Have a great weekend!

Favorites for the Week!

Been busy over here getting ready for the baby's arrival in a couple weeks and had a sick toddler this weekend, who only wanted to lay on the couch and watch movies with her dada (pictured above)!

 I have to say I was seriously overwhelmed by all of the well wishes and love I received from my last post. It's very comforting knowing that so many people care and are praying for you and your family. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

I wanted to share some cool articles, videos, and things I stumbled across last week, as we start a new week! Enjoy : )

Bullet Journaling - I stumbled across an article detailing this new trend. It's like a calendar/daily book to keep you organized but it's a new, fun way to do it. I started watching Youtube videos on it and think I want to start my own! It has to be better than my million to-do lists in every notebook that I own!

Here are some other cool Planner Ideas as well - if you are SUPER into planning and keeping yourself motivated, like I am. Some of these are really cute!

As you know, I'm obsessed with The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I literally just watch it, while eating something that's not necessarily good for me and laugh most of the time. So, on that note, I found this funny compilation of 71 thoughts people had while watching this Monday's episode. I thought it was funny. Take a look, here.

THIS. I love James Corden and Carpool Karaoke. Watch it just for fun!

Some fun summer arts & craft ideas for kiddos. This and this and this!

Also for kids- this monthly subscription called Little Passports. Your kids learn about a new country/place every month with a great package sent to your mailbox. Penelope is still a little young for this but I thought I'd share. I love the idea. Check it out here.

Ten Habits of Highly Organized People. Quick read for those of us who aspire to be a little more organized each day!

8 Inspiring Websites to Read. Some of these are my favorite and an all around good read.

8 Tips for Working From Home. I love this simple read for those of us who work from home and struggle with it at times.

Recently I've been looking for healthier meal options for Penelope and myself. Stumbled across this breakfast recipe, yum!

Hope you have a great week Xo

A Little Update.

35 weeks with Baby 2, at the beach with Nel.  

An update into our lives over the last few months is much needed. We've gone through quite a bit of change over the last few weeks and are slowly adjusting but I decided to write this post, not only as an update but hopefully it touches someone today that may be going through a rough time and can relate.

Every day isn't awesome and I think sometimes we get caught up in social media and post only the glamorous and fun aspects of life, which is beautiful and should be celebrated but it's not always reality. In order to appreciate those incredible moments, we must trudge through some rough times and sometimes it helps knowing there are others who know what you're going through.

So here goes.

So we found out that Baby number two is a .... boy early on and we were so so excited!

Although my pregnancies have been extremely easy on me physically, besides a few weeks of nausea and exhaustion in the beginning; emotionally this one has been quite a roller coaster ride that I've been trying to deal with and take in stride.

After my 13 week blood tests, my OB called me and told me my blood work came back somewhat abnormal and that she wanted me to see a high risk specialist to do some further testing. I received the call while at work one day and of course assumed the worst. I was terrified. We went to the specialist, had numerous tests done, waited impatiently without sleep for about a week for results, and they finally came back normal, much to our relief.

Although everything came back normal during the second round of tests, I was recommended to continue seeing the high risk specialist once a month for ultrasounds to make sure the baby was growing on target. My OB told me after the third visit,  if everything looked normal growth-wise, I would be released from the specialist and would only see my OB for the rest of the pregnancy. We were SUPER happy about that. Going to two different doctors and scheduling different appointments was a little bit stressful.

On that third visit to the specialist, during the ultrasound the doctor just kept staring and staring at the baby's heart for what seemed like forever. I knew deep down something wasn't right but kept telling myself to stop thinking so negatively, as she continued to study the screen intently. I peered over at David and he looked back at me with the same expression. The doctor concluded the ultrasound, looked at us and said " Although everything else looks good, I think there is something wrong with the baby's heart."

That's all I heard before my world came shattering down around me.

I don't remember much else from that appointment, besides her rattling off a long name of the type of congenital heart defect she believed my baby to have and bits and pieces of what this meant. We were referred to a pediatric and fetal cardiologist that would perform an echo of the baby's heart and confirm. We were so desperately hoping she was wrong.

We went to the cardiologist later that week and it was confirmed. Our baby boy has a congenital heart defect known as Tetralogy of Fallot and would need open heart surgery his first year of life to survive, followed by at least one more years down the road.

If you think your world can't fall apart twice in a week, I am here to tell you that it sure can and it sure as hell feels like it is crumbling around you piece by piece. Walking out of that building, I think I had to tell my legs to move or else I would have fallen flat on my face with no shame.

I was in a completely strange place after that appointment. I felt as though my world had ended. I was angry. "Why us? Why my baby?" flooded my thoughts and it still does some days. I laid in bed for the rest of the day, trying to comprehend what this meant and come to terms with it. Deep down, I just didn't know what to do that day. My body didn't know what to do. All the while, I struggled to put a smile on for Peneleope. It was a rough week. It was a week I will never ever forget.

Since the diagnosis and speaking with doctors, we made the decision to temporarily relocate back to Philadelphia for the birth of Baby T, so he could be treated at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, as it is one of the best and most experienced for this condition. The realization that this was happening and we'd have to move our lives within a month was mind-numbing, to say the least. Packing up your entire life as a family is no small feat but doing it all the while trying to come to terms with the fact that your unborn baby has been diagnosed with a heart defect, just kind of breaks your heart. Fortunately, we were able to do so while having the support of our jobs, friends, and family.

So, we left our home in San Antonio for a little while to welcome Baby T into the world and get him the best treatment possible.

As for me, I have my days. There are days where I am great and there are days where I cry in the shower or in the car. There are days where I am angry that it has to be him and there are days where I feel as though I have finally accepted this and am stronger for it.

The only thing I'm sure of right now is that this baby is already making me brave and stronger than I thought I was or thought I ever could be, and he isn't even here yet.

xoxo

Happy Friday :: Weekend Links

We are heading off to the beach for the weekend, so I am scrambling to clean up the house before we leave (looking pretty clean right!) and hoping this not so great weather goes away. I wanted to share some pretty neat articles, links, and things I stumbled across this week!

Need some me-time? This is a great article for creating some white space in your life.

Easy breakfast ideas for kids! Love this.

These are awesome and such a fun idea.

Happy National Donut Day! Healthy donut recipes here!

A dad's account of being mom for the day. This was cute.

Decorating your bedroom tips, here. I needed this.

This super cute sofa bed from Ikea is perfect for a kids room!

I love this bag from Madewell.

I wish I had read this before we went to Disney. Disney moms share tips for visiting, here!

These shoes AND they are on sale.

This and this braid tutorial. I'm braid challenged but I love them so much.

Have a great weekend : ) 

::Currently::

Watching:: All of my shows have ended for the summer season, besides the Bachelorette (shhh, yeah I'm obsessed and really not ashamed). I watch almost every season religiously while everyone around me teases and tells me it's fake. Even if it is, which there is substantial evidence at times that it is, I can't stay away from the drama. It is so entertaining. So, if you watch...who is your top pick this season? I'm thinking of writing a recap every week because I know there are some of you out there, who secretly watch while eating chocolate (maybe I'm the only one on that front), tweet (again maybe I'm the only one on that too), and have some super big opinions on it. We shall see!

Reading:: As I said earlier, most of my shows have ended for the summer and at first I was pretty bummed but in the place of my night time TV ritual, I now read my books until I fall asleep. I've been able to read so many books, it's actually been pretty awesome. I mentioned last week that I was currently reading The Weekenders by Mary Kay Andrews and Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen. I'm still in the middle of them and absolutely love each one and their differences. Strongly recommend both for a nice summer read.

Listening:: Well, besides Barney or Frozen most days, Penelope and I are jammin' to some Justin Timberlake and JLO lately, not to mention Blake Shelton's new album. The other day, I was sitting on the couch and I heard a little voice coming from behind the chair in the opposite corner of the living room, singing "ain't yo mama". I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, but she loves JLO.

Loving:: The photo at the very tippy top. It really has no relevance to this post but I love it so much, I had to share.

Eating:: I've been having these weird cravings for those orangle slice candies. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? So crazy, but I went to Walgreens yesterday and bought myself a bag. I only allow myself maybe one or two but it is a pretty strange craving I've had.

Wishing:: I'm really really wishing that it doesn't rain this weekend because I'm taking Penelope to the beach this weekend for the first time since last summer (when she was only 8 months old!) with my mom, my brother Pete, and our BFF Kelli, while David works : (

Anticipating: I added this one only because I cannot cannot cannot wait to see Me Before You movie. I read the book last summer and loved it. I can't wait to see if the movie lives up to the book. Check the trailer out, I'm obsessed.

Happy Thursday!

xoxo

Summer Bucket List!

Summer is here. Super hot days, warm nights, popsicles, skinned knees, pool parties, etc! With about a month left before Baby T comes, I wanted to make a list of fun things to do with Penelope, so we can have some time together, since a lot of changes will be happening very soon! I've put together a little summer bucket list and wanted to share. I think it's a great idea to do each season as a tradition and then as the kiddos get older, they can help fill up the bucket list with their own ideas. So here goes!

1. Take lots of walks before the weather gets unbearably hot. I'm not sure how unbearable it can get here, when we've survived three Texas summers. Penelope is at the age now where she loves to walk with you, instead of in a stroller, stopping to pick up any cool rocks or flowers she may find. It's kind of awesome.

2. Go swimming. Well that's pretty self-explanatory.

3. Have a picnic. There is a really neat park for kids right around where we live and it's the perfect spot to have lunch and then let Penelope run wild for an hour or so.

4. Go to the library. I also happened to find a library close to us which is awesome because we didn't have any too close in San Antonio. It will be nice to go with Penelope and have her look through the books and pick a few she would like to read.

5. Take a day trip to the beach. We are kind of at the point now where I can't go too far from home, but I want to take Penelope to the beach still, even for the day. The best summer memories I have are at the beach with my family. I want her to be able to play in the sand, pick up seashells, have boardwalk pizza and icecream, and play games.

6. Go to a Phillies Game. It's been a while! We haven't been to a Phillies game in years, since we've been living in San Antonio. Now that we are back here for a while, I'm itching to go to one and take Penelope on a cooler night!

7. Rita's Water Ice. We've missed it since we've been living in Texas. Bahama Bucks shaved ice just didn't compare.

8. Stay up late, make s'mores, and catch lightning bugs aka fireflies.

9. Go to a museum. There are plenty here that will keep Penelope interested and with the super hot days that are in store, something fun indoors will be a must.

10. Go to the zoo.

11. Get Slurpees. I don't know why I added this one, maybe I'm just craving one. Who knows.

What are some things on your summer bucket list?!

Have a great week! 

xoxo