Stress and saying it's okay.

I went to the dentist today because I've been having some pretty bad pain in my jaw that is causing me headaches and neck pain. I was told that I may be grinding my teeth which is causing my jaw to be slightly off track and is the reason why I am in so much pain lately. My dentist told me stress can cause this as well and maybe I need to look into ways to managing my stress.

Stress? Does that look like a stressed out person (pictured above)....okay maybe a little.

I'd say the last year has been quite stressful to say the least.

Our lives changed quite a bit the last year and I think at times we are still trying to catch up and cope with all of the change. The obvious changes, as you all know happened quickly and then BAM!, I became a mom of two little humans (and I think I'm still getting used to that). Some days we are great and seems like we are settled into this "new" life and then other days we fail miserably. Some days we just get too caught up in everything that we forget the important things that should only really matter. I know we've all been there.

Anyway, going back to my original intent with this post. Stress. Managing stress.

I'm understanding that I am not too great at taking that fresh breath of air and letting myself unwind a lot of the time. I think most days I'm still trying to find that perfect balance between being mom of two, having a full-time job, and still being...me. I spent a lot of the last few months being a little bit ashamed and embarrassed to say that out loud because let's be honest, no woman wants to admit they are having a hard time or struggling for fear of looking weak but if we can't say that out loud, doesn't that make us weak?

So, I'm proudly saying that there are days where I feel utterly defeated and that this whole "mom of two" thing seems like a mountain that I'm still trying to climb, slowly but surely and then there are other days where I am batting this mom thing out of the park (they are rare, but they do occur!), but I'm also slowly realizing that I need to start taking more time for me too and figuring how to manage stress.

Some of the things I used to do to manage stress or just think, calm myself down, etc:

Go for a long walk
Workout
Read a book
Go Shopping
Make some tea and sit outside

What are some types of ways you manage stress? I'd love to hear ideas because apparently I need them!

Most of all though - I think it's best to know that you're not alone on those days where you feel like you're alone, doing a bad job as a mom, or feel like you can't do anything right. I feel you and know what you're going through and it only makes us better moms and people in the end.

Xoxo

What I'm Reading :: September

I took a couple of months off from posting while we were getting used to a household with two kids. This new 'normal' didn't really leave much room for reading either! By the time the kids go to sleep at night, my eyes are just about closing and I would be passing out on the couch.

I did find some time though while we went on a mini vacation to read a couple books while the baby soaked in the ocean air and slept like a champ. Now that we are getting into more of a routine at home as well, I find some quiet time to catch up on some of the books I had lined up for this month that I wanted to share.

I also wanted to share with you the really neat Book Club that I've joined online. It's open to everyone and it's actually really cool. I don't generally post about things unless I really truly like them or find them to be really helpful/interesting. This is one of them! It's called Book of the Month Club and it is an online book club subscription that takes information about you (after filling out a short survey) and provides you with a list of five books each month to choose one from that will be mailed to you to keep and read. 

It's a pretty neat service and a great online community of avid readers that you can discuss the book with if that's something you like to do. If you like to read often and are looking for great books, this is perfect for you. Some of the best new and upcoming novels are chosen, as well as some great classics. Right now they have a great deal going on where you get 30% off a 3 month subscription and a free tote bag with the promotional code 30TOTE or you can try a 1 month subscription for only $5 with the promotional code READ5. Can't beat getting a great book for $5 in the first month! 

Here are a few of the books I've been reading this month:

After You

I read Me Before You last summer while on vacation and absolutely loved it. It was one of those books that moved slowly with so much detail but you couldn't get enough or stop reading. I saw the movie a few months ago when it came out and loved the actors that represented each character and then I kind of didn't want the story to end so I decided to read After You. After You is a great sequel to the first and really captures what life is like for Lou after Will. If you liked the first, you will undoubtedly like After You. You can find it here.

First Comes Love

If you have ever read and watched Something Borrowed, you know Emily Giffin and her books. I love them and always get my hands on each new one she releases. This latest that was released this summer was another great one but differed than some of her previous work. This book mixed loss, love, motherhood, family, and everything in between with a beautiful message at the end. You can find it here.

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

I love Amy Schumer and was really excited for her book to come out. This was actually my first pick in the Book of the Month club subscription and so I haven't read it yet but it is on my list this month. I will let you know how I like it! You can find it here.

What are you reading this month?

Have a good week!

A Birth Story :: Theodore

The second littlest love of my life, Theodore David Brodie was born on Wednesday July 6, 2016, weighing 8 lbs 4 oz and made my heart burst and grow even more than I ever thought it could.

This pregnancy differed from my first in so many ways as every pregnancy does. It tested my faith, my strength, and at times made me feel so helpless. There were many ups and many downs as we navigated through all of the various appointments with different doctors, the numerous tests and monitoring, and ultimately the relocation to Philadelphia for the birth. I spent a lot of this pregnancy really excited to meet my baby boy as every pregnant mama does, but there was also a great amount of time that I spent feeling scared for his future and sad for what he would have to go through. Feeling helpless as a mom is such a painful feeling. I held onto whatever faith I had every day, praying that this little boy who I hadn't met yet but knew was going to be my greatest hero, would make his appearance and show us how unbelievably strong he was.

As the anxiety set in the last couple months before his birth, the doctors set a date for me to come in to be induced the week before my actual due date to avoid me going into labor at home and not getting to the hospital in time. They wanted to make sure the team of doctors that would monitor the baby was ready and waiting just in case Theo needed care minutes after birth. I was scheduled to be induced on  the evening of Tuesday July 5, 2016.

On Tuesday evening, David and I settled into our room at the hospital after dropping Penelope off at her grandparents. The nurses started the induction process that night and told me to get some sleep.Telling a mom she would be meeting her son super soon and then telling her to get some sleep is not a good combination and I don't think that really ever works...ever. I was way too excited/nervous/anxious to sleep that night and so I tossed and turned until the morning. David snored, all night.

Wednesday July 6, I woke up to contractions and so the nurses decided to give me a round of Pitocin around noon, which would increase the intensity and timing of contractions, while David ate a cheeseburger in front of me. To be fair, I told him to eat because I knew sooner or later, I'd be squeezing the life out of him. My contractions went from somewhat strong to completely debilitating within a few hours but my stubborn self kept pacing back and forth in the room, swaying on the rocking chair, to get through each one. From about noon to 3pm, I walked around breathing through every contraction until finally at 3:30pm, I decided to ask for an epidural, not realizing that it was way too late, little boy was ready.

Around 4:10p.m. the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. As he laid me down to give me a test dose of the epidural, to make sure my blood pressure would not drop too low, my water broke and then all I remember is screaming to the nurse that the baby was coming! The team of doctors scrambled to get ready for his arrival as I squeezed the life out of the nurse and David's hands. Finally they allowed me to push, and after about 3 pushes, Theodore made his way into the world! I instantly forgot about the crazy amount of pain I was in when I saw his little face and heard his little cry. I never believed women when they said that they forgot the pain when the baby arrived, but you really do in some strange, bizarre way. Theodore was an angel from the very beginning, crying only as his eyes met the world and then immediately calmed down once I held him.

He was doing so well after birth without any visible complications and so the doctors allowed me to hold him for about 10-15 minutes or so before they took him to make sure he was stable and get him ready to go to the NICU, where we could go and visit/sit with him afterwards.

Penelope came to visit her new brother that night. Having no clue that this little boy would be coming home with us in a few days, she begged to hold the baby in the NICU. It was the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

The days following the birth, Theodore spent in the NICU. He was monitored, tested, and proved to us how strong of a fighter he is, as he fed and grew each day and was able to come home after only three days. The doctors went over his current condition and how well he was doing that he wouldn't need any immediate care until his surgery around 3 months old.

Theodore came home and has been doing so well in the last two months. He has been growing and making everyone he meets fall in love with him. He is my calm in this big crazy hectic life. He is my my calm, as his sister the tornado runs through the house each day. I live to hear his little sighs each day, and to see his sister hold him and give him kisses, as he smiles and she says "He laughin at me."

As we are a month away from his surgery, we are soaking in every minute of every day with him, watching him grow, and loving every moment. My heart is so full, yet breaks a little every day knowing that his little body will have to go through so much so soon. My little fighter has completely stolen this mama's heart and will every day for the rest of my life. He has taught me more about myself than I could imagine, has given me strength in times where I didn't think I had anything else left, and has given me the greatest gift I have ever known, along with his sister, by making me their mom. He's my hero, my heart, and the littlest love of my life. 

Things I can't wait to do after pregnancy.

I wrote this post the day before I had Theodore and never got around to posting it. So I'm posting it now, while I write his birth story for ya'll to read. I am happy to say I have completed a few of the items on my checklist below : ) 

1. Eat a hot dog. Don't ask me why but I am that shopper that goes to Costco and has to leave with a fountain soda and a hot dog with ketchup and mustard. I know what you're thinking, judge away but it is my guilty pleasure and I have avoided Costco for the most part because I couldn't have hot dogs while pregnant. I am so ready for a walk around Costco with my hot dog and my soda.

2. Shave my legs without gasping for air every 5 seconds. I am at the point where bending over is an incredible task that leaves me breathless and frustrated. I almost hit rock bottom and considered not shaving my legs, but that thought quickly went away. I will suffer and shave my legs and hope for the day that bending over to do simple tasks won't be such a workout.

3. Yoga. I absolutely love yoga and I love finding new classes but putting on extra weight during pregnancy makes it even more difficult to hold those poses. Not to mention the enormous belly I've been lugging around lately. This belly makes for a pretty strange looking downward dog pose and lots of heavy breathing, which totally takes away any relaxation factors that come along with yoga. Soon, very soon, I keep telling myself.

4. Shop for cute clothes and actually fit into them. This one will come in time, I know but I really do miss going shopping and buying cute clothes to wear. My maternity wardrobe for the last few months has been spandex, tank tops, flowy cardigans, and more spandex. Anything that stretches basically is my best friend right now. I'm itching for the day I can fit into my skinny jeans again, well maybe.

5. Drink a margarita. I'm not really a big drinker at all but for some reason I have been craving a margarita like it's my job during this pregnancy and not just any margarita but the frozen prickly pear margarita at one of my favorite places in Texas. I'm coming for you, soon, hopefully.

6. Sleep on my stomach! The simple joys in life, that's all I can say. Just sleep, should be one of them.

7. See what my little man looks like. This one is last but the most important. I have envisioned in my head what this baby will look like. I've wondered if he will have Penelope's coloring and similar features, the bright blue-ish/gray eyes OR if he will be darker like his daddy with dark eyes. I just can't wait to see this little person.

XOXO

Thoughts: Last few days of Pregnancy

The countdown is on. Baby boy will be here in about 8 days, if not sooner (I'm crossing my fingers). I was just sitting here thinking about this pregnancy in comparison to my first when I was pregnant with Penelope. This one has been a little more emotionally taxing for obvious reasons but people are not kidding when they say being pregnant while running after a toddler is no joke.

We found out we were having another baby about a month before Penelope's first birthday and then the first trimester exhaustion settled in just about the same time as my first little monster started walking or running rather. I felt about 5 times more tired this time around with my only hope of relief was when I was at work and Penelope was taken care of by our awesome nanny (who we miss very much if you are reading this!), or when Penelope went to bed and I could sit on the couch for maybe 30 minutes before passing out, drool running and everything. I know as you're reading this you're thinking "being at work is relief"? YES. I could sit for 8 hours without no interruptions besides that of my bladder.

To be honest though, it wasn't as bad as I'm making it seem. Yes, I was exhausted and yes, I will hand it over to any mamas out there that are expecting their second or third and doing it so gracefully. You are all warriors in my book.

After we found everything out about baby boy, the pregnancy took a bit of a turn for me, and instead of being so happy to give Penelope a sibling and to see what this little boy looked like, I was just worried and sad most of the time. Moving took a big toll on us too, as well as getting used to a new place again, and battling the allergies I've had since we moved! The last two months have been quite a challenge for me. Getting used to working from home full time again (which I am so thankful for), getting everything ready for the baby while seeing doctors every week for myself and for him, along with pretty much being sick with allergies and then bronchitis the entire time has been pretty brutal.

Yesterday, as we were driving to our final appointment before baby comes, I told David "I don't know if I can do this again." I immediately felt bad after saying it. I know there are women out there who have lost babies, who are having trouble conceiving, among many other issues, and at the end of the day, despite all of the sad days I've had, the tired days, the days where I want to run away or hide, or think I can't do it...I am so incredibly grateful that I can. Our bodies and minds are capable of so much more than we can possible conceive and I am noticing that more and more these days. When you think you can't go any more, your feet keep moving, your heart keeps beating, and your mind keeps whirling.

I know I'm ranting today but I caught myself thinking about pregnancy and figured I'd just write it all down. I'm sure someone can relate : )

Have a great day! 

What I'm Reading:: June

Last night as I was sitting on the couch trying to get through this old book I had started reading this week, David said to me "you're a book-reading junkie lately". I took that as a compliment. I don't know what it is, I've always really liked to read but lately instead of watching tv when I finally get a chance to sit on the couch, I just want to read. 

Continuing with my monthly book lists. I've included a few new books I've decided to read this month. One is a light summer chick book and the other two just looked really interesting. Let me know what you think or if you've read any of them!

What I'm reading in June and July:

The Girls by Emma Cline 

I was a little on the fence about reading this book at first. It is a coming of age story, set in the 1960s, revolving around the lives of young girls who have become entwined in a cult with a Charles Mansonesque leader. The story is told from a middle aged woman looking back to when she was 14, when she stumbled across this new world as a young girl looking to find herself one summer. It's incredibly deep and at times a lot to handle, but it is so well written. You can find it here.

Forever Beach by Shelley Noble 

This book is on the lighter side compared to the first book I mentioned. It's perfect as a poolside or beach read. It tells the story of two childhood best friends that lose touch and then inevitably find their way back to each other all to save a little girl and give her a family. It's a really good summer read! You can find it here.

Modern Lovers by Emma Straub

Lastly, this book I stumbled across on Barnes & Noble's top recent books list. This book is about young friends that grow up together, live around each other as they are older with their own families, and watch their kids settle into friendships with each other. It's funny and at times crazy, but it's a really fun and good humored book! You can find it here.

What are you reading this month? 

Have a great weekend!

Favorites for the Week!

Been busy over here getting ready for the baby's arrival in a couple weeks and had a sick toddler this weekend, who only wanted to lay on the couch and watch movies with her dada (pictured above)!

 I have to say I was seriously overwhelmed by all of the well wishes and love I received from my last post. It's very comforting knowing that so many people care and are praying for you and your family. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

I wanted to share some cool articles, videos, and things I stumbled across last week, as we start a new week! Enjoy : )

Bullet Journaling - I stumbled across an article detailing this new trend. It's like a calendar/daily book to keep you organized but it's a new, fun way to do it. I started watching Youtube videos on it and think I want to start my own! It has to be better than my million to-do lists in every notebook that I own!

Here are some other cool Planner Ideas as well - if you are SUPER into planning and keeping yourself motivated, like I am. Some of these are really cute!

As you know, I'm obsessed with The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I literally just watch it, while eating something that's not necessarily good for me and laugh most of the time. So, on that note, I found this funny compilation of 71 thoughts people had while watching this Monday's episode. I thought it was funny. Take a look, here.

THIS. I love James Corden and Carpool Karaoke. Watch it just for fun!

Some fun summer arts & craft ideas for kiddos. This and this and this!

Also for kids- this monthly subscription called Little Passports. Your kids learn about a new country/place every month with a great package sent to your mailbox. Penelope is still a little young for this but I thought I'd share. I love the idea. Check it out here.

Ten Habits of Highly Organized People. Quick read for those of us who aspire to be a little more organized each day!

8 Inspiring Websites to Read. Some of these are my favorite and an all around good read.

8 Tips for Working From Home. I love this simple read for those of us who work from home and struggle with it at times.

Recently I've been looking for healthier meal options for Penelope and myself. Stumbled across this breakfast recipe, yum!

Hope you have a great week Xo